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The Cold War
'''The Cold War '''is the 2nd episode of Cult of Squid season 1. Transgenderscript (Episode begins inside the lodge with Squidward on his throne) Security: (walks in) brother Squidward... Brother squidward: what is it security? Security: it seems that most of our cult members are leaving early. Squidward: WHAT?! WHY?! Cult member: (walks in) brother Squidward, can i go home? I'm feeling… (tips head offscreen and pukes and falls down) Squidward: unacceptable! (Slams tentacle on throne) Security: im not feeling too well myself... Brother Squidward: shoo! Dont infect me with your germs! Security: ok… (walks offscreen and pukes) Squidward: and clean up that mess! Security: aww… Initiator: (pukes offscreen) (walks in) so what initiations are we doing today? Squidward: none. Initiator: cool. Squidward: this sickness is invading my beautiful cult! Noseward: good thing i can't get infected cuz I'm a nose. Squidward: uh, how do you do anything since you're just a nose? Noseward: my anatomy is super complex. Squidward: i see. (Cuts to a shot of the entire room with most of the cult members walking around and coughing) Noseward: (offscreen) we can't run a cult like this! Squidward: (offscreen) i see. (Cuts back) i wonder if the prisoners are also dealing with this disease. (Cuts to the underground prison cell with almost all the fish coughing) (Cuts back) Noseward: i ain't going down there to find out. Squidward: we must do something about this! Noseward: I'll get one of our slave doctors. (Goes offscreen) (Cuts to the feathered friends sneaking outside of the lodge) Spongebob: (whispering) alright feathered friends, it's time to bust in and show those squids who's boss! Patrick: uh, spongebob? Spongebob: yeah? Patrick: the security guard isnt there. Spongebob: oh, i guess we'll just casually walk in. Mr krabs: oh brother. (The FF all walk to the front door as multiple Squids walk out of the lodge) Spongebob: are these people finally accepting defeat?! Cult member: no, we got a virus. Plankton: you know what this means? Spongebob: these people are sick? Plankton: No you dang idiot! It means we can take over the lodge easier now! Krabs: why am i here again? (Cuts to inside the lodge with The Feathered Friends sneaking in and going to the throne room) Spongebob: freeze cephalopods! Squidward: Spongebob?! Patrick?! Plankton?! Kra- where's krabs? Spongebob: he went home due to lack of interest. Squidward: dang. Plankton: we've come to take over! Squidward: never! Cult, attack! Cult members: yaaa-(all start coughing)aa!! (The ff and the cult members have a battle and the cult members cough a lot) Spongebob: (holds a cult member's nose) gotcha nose! (Cult member punches Spongebob to the ground) (Cuts to Patrick fighting a cult member) Patrick: take this! (Misses a punch) and this! (Misses yet again) and uh… What was i doing? (The cult member attempts to punch patrick but Patrick yawns, dodging the attack without him knowing) (Cuts to a cult member running towards plankton) Cult member: aaaa!!!! (Cuts to plankton running towards the cult member) Plankton: aaaa!!! (Cuts to cult member) Cult member: aaaa- Plankton: OOW!! (Cult member raises foot to see he has stepped on plankton by accident) (Cuts to mr krabs relaxing on his recliner watching T.V for 5 seconds) (Cuts to the lodge filled with wounded and tired squids and the feathered friends all knocked out. There is a doctor giving everyone except Squidward flu vaccines) Squidward: we won! WE WO- (coughs) uh oh.. (A cult member picks up the 3 and throws them out) (Cuts to Squidward holding a bucket) Cult member: hey boss, we all feel better! Brother Squidward: great… (barfs in bucket) Cult member: oh my… Noseward: i wonder how the fish in prison are doing? (Cuts to a shot of the underground cage and everyone feels better) Tom: at least we're better. Fred: my leg fell off!! Tom: put it back on then! (Cuts to Squidward on a bed with a box of tissues and there are cult members next to him) Squidward: are there anymore vaccines? Doctor: nope, you'll just have to wait this one out. Cult member: can i just say that's not how vaccines wor- Doctor: QUIET. Noseward: back into the slave quarters with you. (Episode ends with Nosewars chasing the doctor offscreen while holding a whip and constantly whipping the doc and Squidward throws up one more time) Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:2018